Alice
by Misty Mina
Summary: It's your typical 'Lucy leaves Fairy Tail' story. Or is it? And who the f*** is Alice?


**Disclaimer:** *sigh* Ok, I only say this because I'm being threatened here. *glares at lawyers* Fairy Tail is not mine! ...*grins* ...yet. XD

**Author's note:** This is something different from my usual style. People who read my stories know that normally, I'm a romance or fluff writer. Well I have to disappoint them now. Although I'm not as sorry as I should be because I really enjoyed writing this. Hope you'll still like it.

~o~o~o~

**Alice  
**By Misty Mina

'_Every little girl creates a wonderland to play in and rule over. That's why every little girl is an 'Alice'.'_

That's what her mother had said. When Lucy was a child, she had loved the tale of 'Alice in Wonderland'. She even wanted to be called 'Alice'. But her mother refused and explained to her that even as Lucy, she still could be an Alice.

Back then, she couldn't comprehend her words and just smiled. Agreeing with her on everything like she usually did.

Now she could and it was scaring her. ... _Boooh_

The thing called 'Alice.'

On nights like these, when Lucy was alone with her thoughts and her friends absent, she often found herself dwelling on the subject. Dwelling on Alice and her hatred for it.

Alice was honest, kind, lived in her imaginary world and ...she was pure. That's why every little girl was an 'Alice'. Was she just like that? No way! ...Maybe?...Just a little?..._yes_

She's honest. ..._mostly_

She's kind. Even to enemies. ..._fool_.

She really lived in her imaginary World. Were friends were friends. ...not impudent freeloaders... _Bastards_. Were their guildmaster was a caring old man, not a pervert. ..._dirty_. Were she was cherished by her nakama, ...and not cast aside like a forgotten toy. ..._doll_. Where she was attractive and could ensnare others. ...not where her beauty was only worth 1000 jewels,..._peanuts_.

And she was still pure. ...No man would touch her. ...She was a little girl after all. They didn't want little girls. They wanted women. ..._Righteous_.

Women: 'referring to adult human beings who are biologically female.' ..._You?_

Adult? She wasn't even of age yet. Only sweet seventeen. A big, yet little girl who played adult after all. ..._freak_.

She could always change her looks, her appearance, her behavior, but it would never change what she was on the inside. Alice had a tight grip on her and it wouldn't let go of her anytime soon. More so, that grip got tighter and she was choking already. ...It threatened to suffocate her. ..._die_.

Lucy couldn't stand it anymore. She wanted to grow up. Be an adult! Do whatever she wanted and not what was expected of her. She had left the golden cage and ended up in one made of silver. It didn't matter what it was made of. Steel, iron, wood, glass, stone,..._Wonderland..._

A cage was still a cage and she was still the bird trapped inside. ..._sing!_

The stellar mage had envied her Edoras self. The other Lucy was a person who decided what, when to do. Doing things as she saw fit. She was free. How? Lucy wanted to know! She wanted to be free as well. ..._impossible_.

If she couldn't be free then maybe she could negotiate? Try to cope? ..._Hopeless._

Juvia and Lisanna were the typical girlish women. They were half adult, half Alice.

Mirajane had once been a too young adult, then reverted back into an Alice and accepted it.

Erza had forced Alice to obey her will. She tolerated and used it at the same time.

...And Lucy? She hadn't accomplished anything. Alice had taken control of her and her life..._Toy_.

It would never obey her. It wouldn't share. It possessed! It controlled! And Lucy hated Alice for that with unrivaled passion.

Could she ever live the life of a normal adult woman? ...Then again, what was normal? ..._What everyone else is and you are not..._

The blonde stood up and walked into her bathroom where she could look into the mirror. No matter how long she stared at her reflection, it wouldn't change. Her features weren't old or mature enough. They lacked everything. Experience, wisdom, beauty, seriousness, age. ..._child_.

How could she attain all that if Alice was always present? Always in the way?

Lucy stared into her own dull, brown orbs. She knew the solution already, right? It hung over her like the sword of Damocles.

Dangling from side to side.

Hypnotizing her.

Glittering in the faint moonlight.

Enchanting her.

It was her salvation. Her knight in shining armor. ..._dangling at the end of a noose_.

All she had to do was to let it fall and get rid of Alice.

Leave it.

Forsake it.

Ignore it.

Kill it!

But it wasn't so easy, was it? Getting rid of Alice meant also getting rid of everything else. Honesty, Kindness, Purity, ...Wonderland. ..._coward_.

Perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea? As hobby-author she knew that every story had to end. It may be happy, it may be sad, complicated, stupid or confusing and yet it was still an end.

It was time to end the tale. The tale of Alice.

Her reflection was mocking her now. Alice was still there, right in front of her. Daring her to pull it off or never think of it again. Lucy touched the mirror with her right hand and it felt smooth and cold on her fingertips.

Kill it.

Could she do it and free herself from Alice? ..._no_.

Kill it!

If she didn't, she'd always be a marionette on invisible strings. Just like on Tenrou island where Natsu controlled her body with that strange doll. That's all she was. ..._forever_.

Kill Alice...

Unless she did what she should have done long ago. This life was not what she had wanted. Not what she desired. The reason she left her home, was for freedom. ..._dream on_.

Kill Alice!

Lucy raised her right arm slowly, fist clenched tight to the point when it felt like she was strangling something to death.

KILL THY ALICE!

With that, Lucy brought down her fist and smashed the mirror into pieces. Her reflection shattered and fell apart.

No...

'Alice' shattered and fell apart.

The burning pain in her right hand felt so warm and so thrilling. She had defeated an enemy by herself and hadn't shown any mercy! The red testament of her deed ran over her hand and into the sink where Alice lay.

Shattered, broken, ...dead. Finally! No more of this hypocritical honesty! No more of this self-sacrificing kindness! No more of this forced purity! Judgment had been passed.

Fascinated by the lovely red color, Lucy looked at her hand closely. Multiple cuts were ruining her pink Fairy Tail crest. If left untreated, then soon the cuts would become scars.

Good!

She'd ripped it apart. The crest that was once everything to her. Ripped, broken, ...dead. Just like Alice!

'Alice' was no more and 'Lucy' had been born. The tale has found an end.

No, not yet.

Lucy left her bathroom, not even bothering to bandage her cuts. She searched for a certain slip of paper while coloring her room with bloody-red polkadots. When she found it, she ripped it apart, like Alice, like her crest. Right in the middle of the two words 'rental agreement.' She packed a few things, just enough to fit into one bag, then left her apartment. She was finally free.

Farewell honesty.

You were a bother.

Goodbye kindness.

You were never of any help.

Die purity!

You are the most annoying one, but not for long.

Rest in peace Alice.

For Lucy had left Wonderland and will never return.

~o~o~o~

...

OH! Uhm,... end?. XD

Ok, the story is meant to be psychologically twisted and I hope you all understood what this was all about. If not, you can pm me and ask. ^^ Or maybe you want to interpret this story differently? That's also ok. Review? Flames are ok too, Natsu is hungry. XD


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